Have you ever taken the time to study a butterfly’s wings? They seem so fragile and yet so strong. They are fragile in that if you touch their wings with your fingers, they will not be able to fly. They have some kind of substance on them that allows their wings to fly. Without that substance it is as if their wings are broken. They will eventually die. I am fascinated by butterflies. I love their fragility, their many colors, their grace, and their strength. They have a beauty that reminds me of so many things.
This week I felt little like a butterfly with broken wings. It involved someone close to my heart who I thought was past many things, especially hurtful words because they didn’t get their way. No matter of how I tried to help them understand that sometimes living in the moment means them not getting their way because God has us on different paths but that it didn’t mean I didn’t care or love them. Interestingly enough when I went to God with my broken wings, he reminded me what a healthy relationship entails. Relationships are not one person getting their way on their terms, it is not about making the other happy, or even bowing to their every need. It is not about doing perfect, but doing grace and love. I showed my broken wings, God allowed me to cry and he in return helped me see that some people we love dearly are toxic and we can’t allow them in our journey for they break us. In my case, it has been continually for quite a while because I love this person dearly and I want them to be part of my life. God reminded me that while I need to forgive them, I do not need to allow them to walk over me because I can’t do life on their terms. I can continue to love and pray for them, but I can’t allow them to be in life the way I would like. It seemed to me it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
I believe God brings people into our lives for many reasons. Some stay with us until He calls them home, others for a short while, and some for a longer time. No matter what they all bring something to our lives. They enrich us and allow us to grow and hurt and be refined. The fact is I am not perfect and I can’t do what this person is asking of me. I want to do what God is asking of me.
While it hurts, the time has come for me to let go and fly on. A toxic person eventually breaks us down and we can become like them. I want to fly and soar as me who God created. So as my wings heal, and I learn to let go of broken words and move on, I will soar like a butterfly stronger from the rock in the path.