Reality

writingdesk

 

Today as I sit down to write, my heart is a bit tender.  Yesterday I went with son number 1 to register for classes and attend orientation and help him get ready for college in the fall.  The college he is going to is very nice and a small community for him.  It was an afternoon that I will cherish as I got to listen and offer advice and see where his heart is as he makes this next step.

As we got settled in, they had the parents do something different so the students could meet with their adviser and enroll in classes.  I was like I don’t get to help with this?  No words of wisdom from me?  That was when reality hit me hard.  My role as mother is changing.  No longer am I going to know everything that is going on with them, where they are, or are they going to class and doing homework.  That was a little hard on this mama heart.  I can offer advice, love them with everything, and pray for them, but I have to let go so they can find their way with God as their guide.  As I was waiting for him, God spoke to me gently.  I will walk with Him and it will be ok.  There will be mistakes made, there will be bumps in the road, and they will grow from it.  While my head knows that, my heart is not ready to accept that.  As we were driving home, he spill everything from why he took the classes he did, what he still had questions about, and how it would be different being away from his twin brother.  I think he must have known I needed this to ease my mind a bit.

In a few weeks, we will do this all over with son number 2, his twin and I am sure the same feelings will come to rise.  Change has never been easy for me.  It is easy to say they have graduated.  It is easy with them being home to know exactly what is going on, and it is easy to think that life will always stay the same. The fact of the matter is, it doesn’t.  That is part of living in the moment.  Going with the flow of it and realizing that though this change is hard, God will use it to grow me as well.

I am a proud mama who can’t wait to see what God has in store for my sons who truly have been a gift to me.  But I know it will take a bit of getting used to having an empty nest and moving on in the next phase of living in the moments of my journey.

Ya’ll have a blessed day.

Tammy

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