Aging

Meditation-(Madame-Monet-On-The-Sofa)

 

 

I have found myself lately pondering the fact that in a few short months I will turn 50.  I have never really let age bother me as I have always had the thought we are as old as we feel.  I usually say 29.  Maybe I am pondering it more now as this year has brought many changes such as the loss of my father-in-law, my twins turning 19 and graduating, going to college, empty nest, and then 50.  The words half a century have twittered in my mind.

I have found there are some things I wouldn’t want to go back to from my younger years.  I am wiser than in my younger years, although each year was a stepping stone to where I am now in the journey.  I began to wonder what is my purpose now?  The things I have been doing for the past 20 years are not what I will be doing in a few short months.  Being a mom is something I will always be, but differently now.  I am a teacher and passionate about it, but I know there is more to my journey than my career.  So what does God have for me in the horizon?

I have realized when my doctor recently told me that I am healthy, but there are changes I need to make to continue to be healthy.  Let us just say losing 15 pounds is not my goal, 5 yes.  She was ok with that.  I am not overweight, but a little slim down would be good for my health.  So the walking I have taken up has been good.  It is there in those walks I have realized that turning 50 bothers me a just a bit.  God might ask me to get out of my comfort zone.  Will I have the courage to leap?  What does my next stepping stone look like?

While all of these reflections have been good for my heart and soul, I realize living in the moment never stays the same.  It is like a revolving door.  We can’t go back, just like I can’t be 29 again, so we go through the next door.  I am not sure what adventure lies ahead for me.  But I know God will take my hand and guide me through the door.  Living in the moments I wouldn’t trade for the world and adding more treasure like seashells on a beach.  Who knows I may decide 50 is the best age yet!!!!  A new step in a journey that has always been one adventure after another.

Blessings on your day,

Tammy

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